Purgatory
by Elle92
Summary: In life can you find many to care for but only so few that can light up and tear down your heart in the blink of an eye. [Spoilers for the finale of season 1 and the first episode of season 2. A death fic reflection-ish] Hope you'll enjoy!


**Notes: **This is un-betad, all mistakes are my own and I do not own any of the characters in this little fanfic. All of them belongs to Arrow. I would very much appreciate comments, either good or less good. Pointers for improving my writing, language, etc etc. Hope you'll enjoy.

**Spoilers: **Pretty much from season 1 up til the first episode of season 2.

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He stares out in the black and cold night. In his own little bubble not really seeing anything or hearing anything. He feels angry, sad, guilty, devastated, lost beyond words but mostly angry and seeking for some kind of revenge on a man that is already dead. How can you kill or torture a man who already is dead? If he could would he retrieve that...the monster who took half the life in the Glades. He would retrieve him just to strangle him, drag him across a thousands miles, anything to make him feel his and everyone else anguish, hurt, sadness and anger. And after having done that would he raise his bow and release a set of arrows, all hitting different targets, making him bleed while begging for mercy to die. To watch his life leave his eyes.

It should have been him. It should have been Oliver who should be in his place. Tommy...well Tommy were supposed to be in a safe place. A location far away from the Glades. But of course would Tommy drive there because he knew...he knew that Laurel would still be there. Because she couldn't listen to peoples warnings. He went there and saved her even after all the hurt Laurel and Oliver pulled him through. Oliver knew it was a mistake hurting his best friend that way but he didn't think.

So there he went to save the woman he loved and who he had lost to the one who was supposed to be his best friend and getting her out to the safe while getting stuck under too much rumble of the roof and walls falling slowly over him. Being stuck without being able to move and get out of this collapsing building before ending his life. Being worried he hadn't succeed with the saving of his love. Praying to every God that she made it out safely.

The hope never leaving him. Nothing can rewind Tommy's death. If there would be a way to do it, Oliver would do it in a heartbeat. He would do everything to trade places with Tommy. There had been so many times Oliver was near death when he was on the island. Every day was a struggle for survival and yet he survived all those dangers he faced there. Five years of hell and death lurking behind every corner.

Tommy…he never really faced any dangers in Starling City. He should never have been at CNRI. It wasn't his task. His task was to be Oliver's best friend and to be far away from the Glades. It was Oliver's job to protect the people of Starling City and to protect Laurel. All Tommy needed to do was to be safe so Oliver wouldn't have to worry about him at top of everyone else he cared for. He really though Tommy would be safe after telling him to stay out of the Glades.

Instead did Oliver find his best friend, his brother, in the ruins of CNRI, bleeding to death. There was so many thing that they both wanted to say to each other but the time was so limited. No words seems to be able to even come out. No words would stop the bleeding or the hurt. Or the inevitable that was death standing beside him. All Tommy really needed to know though was that Laurel was safe and sound, that he was loved and that he wasn't anywhere close to being his father. Not that he deserved to be called Tommy's father.

He blinks away the tears he feel is waiting to be dropped. He is numbed...he don't feel a thing and don't want to feel anything either way. He just want to be left alone because he don't deserve to be out in the world being called anything else than a failure. He failed the city, he failed the people, he failed his family, he failed Diggle and Felicity, he failed Laurel but he failed Tommy the most. And for that will he not deserve anything but misery and being back at this hellish place that he tried to escape for so many years.

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_Okay that was it. Thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it. Many hugs from,_

_Elle92_


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